is it gone forever...?

miss how we used to laugh at all your crazy jokes,

miss how you'd just call my name for no reason at all,

miss how we used to play chess with everyone surrounding us knowing you were gonna let me win,

miss how i'd decided to skip lunch and you would suddenly show up with some food you 'wrongly bought',

miss how you would scare me from behind when i was looking out the corridor,

miss how we'd go mad just talking crap with the gang,

miss how you laughed,

miss the way you'd pretend to slip just to fall on me,

miss us.

miss everyone.

miss u guys.

life

what's life?
what are we living for?
what are we fighting for??
why are we living????

why...i need answers..i really need them. .><.

sigh

i won't give up till it's over....
if it takes you forever, i want you to know..

is it true? that guys always hide their feelings? cuz well,it's sure true to me..they always look happy! it just seems sooo 'real' and sooo unbelievable!!
i mean, how can someone be happy ALL the time?? its so...fake! ><

ok gtg.bro so noisy! shout shout shout! argh!! x[ -----!

am i happy?

look.see that guy? he looks happy.he's laughing.joking around with his friends.but is he happy?
i see the sorrow in his eyes.when noone's looking.he's hurt.sad.

he notices me staring.he looks up.straight at me.i give him a weak smile.he smiles back.a big grin.as if saying 'why are you looking at me like that? i'm fine, dont worry.' but the look in his eyes dont change.he's not fine.i just know it.

i'm back home.lying on my bed.gazing at the ceiling.thinking of him.wondering why he's sad.i cant stand it.i text him.he doesnt reply..as usual.i wait.i fall asleep after 2 hours.i wake up sad to see he still didnt reply.

4 days pass.i didnt see him.i'm busy.i forget about that look.

it's been a week now.i see him again.
this time he's just sitting there.noone's here yet.except us.he doesnt smile.he doesnt frown.but his eyes say everything.i dont know what to say to him.he doesnt know what to say to me.silence.i look at him.thinking of what to say.he takes a peek at me.but turns away again.i feel like crying.i dont know why.but i dont.i made a promise to myself not to never EVER cry infront of a guy.

*cachik* someone else is here.i feel dissapointed we didnt talk.its one of his friends.they start talking.they laugh.he looks abit happier.i'm abit happier too.

more people come.we have our gathering.i feel happy after chatting with my girls.everyone sits in a circle.somehow,we end up sitting together.we dont say a word to each other.

the gathering is ending.

i glance at him.he catches my eye.i give him a faint smile again.he smiles slightly back at me.i whisper to him 'you ok?' he replies 'i'm good...thanks'. 'for what?' i say.he stops to think a second.then says 'caring'.he smiles at me.a nice warm one.there's a sparkle in his eyes.its beautiful.i like it.i smile back.a tear drops from my eye.i face away to wipe it off.
suddenly i hear his voice in my ear.'my shoulder's always here for you to cry on you know that?'. 'i know...'

purple gang

lols...as u can see,we're all wearing purple! haha..this's yesterday in chrch...we DID NOT PLAN TO WEAR PURPLE!! IT JUS HAPPENED!!! so pls dun be angry lyd n lai yee.. ^^ so hapened both of thenm were wearin whole body black xD

at first i was wearing a black shirt too....but then suddenly feel like changin n end up with purple...hahas..

p.s. this pic is kinda blur so sorry.