23:23

the numbers i see almost every night.every night, before i sleep i will put my handphone on the floor if i'm going to sleep.unless i'm sms-ing with someone.

but no matter what happens, i will see those numbers.

let me explain. >>
lets say, i'm typing a msg.type type type..suddenly feel like just pressing the 'back' button.23:23.
or maybe, i'm half asleep.but suddenly wonder what time is it already.23:23.
how about, i'm chatting with someone.'how come still havent replied me?' look at the hp.23:23.
hmm.i'm sleeping.suddenly feel like wanna go to the loo.wat time already? look.23:23.
next,i'm watching tv.'when's this show gonna end? what time isit?' let me guess.23:23.

almost EVERY NIGHT this will happen.i dunno if this is a sign or something....maybe an answer to an exam question? a time when i have to do something in future?? i dunno.i just hope it aint something bad.but i'm not really caring....dumdeedum...
wat do u guys think? lolz.

kays.i've said what i came to say.I'LL BE BACK. xD tatas guys~!!

short story..wrote myself.touching to me when i re-read it.lol (repost)

where am i? its so dark.is this nightime? trees are surrounding me at all sides.they're black and leafless.where am i??! i'm..lost.how did i get here???!

'help! is anyone here?? help me!! please...!!!'

~

i have to find the way out of here! all i can think of is running.i run and run and run.....
its so dark.its too silent to be a forest.all i can hear are my footsteps.

i dont see anything but the black trees.nothing.its so scary.i start to cry.but i keep running.'dont stop' i tell myself.i struggle through some branches.they scratch me all over.i dont care. 'run.just keep running.get out.' was all i could think.

finally,my legs could stand nomore.out of breath,i fall.

i open my eyes.was that a dream? no.i'm still here.
it should be morning by now.where's the sun? its still as dark as ever.i try to get up, but my legs wont budge.like they're paralyzed.i cant do it.

what's that? a bright light catches my eye.light! there's light! i starts to grow dim.
'no! dont go!!!' i push myself up.my legs wont move. 'get up!!!' i forced them up.they hurt.they feel more painful than anything i've ever felt before.tears start falling from my eyes.

run.run!! i cant.i can barely walk.the light moves.it goes further and further away.i feel the darkness coming over me. 'no,wait.wait for me..' RUN!! i start running.i dont care how much it hurts.i want to get out of here.the light is so far way it looks like a tiny star almost disappearing. i dont stop.'i wont.' i promise myself. 'i wont..'

after what seemed like days and days of endless running, i see the light.its not more than a mile away.i run like i've never ran before.
finally,i'm there.standing right in front of it.before i can say a word, its glows so bright till i cant open my eyes, and then vanishes. 'no!!!! COME BACK!!!!!!' i'm enveloped in darkness again.
its gone..gone.

i kneel down and start crying.i give up..i give up.

suddenly,something nudges my knee.i look up.its a mouse.tiny and harmless.then i notice, i'm not in the jungle anymore..i'm out! I'M OUT!!!

i breathe a sigh of relief...its over.
my energy is totally used up.i lay down and fall asleep.

~

its morning now.a dim light shines in the sky.its not the sun.i'm on a gloomy,cold stretch of bare land.the forest has disappeared.

in front of me lay a huge jungle of rose plants.rose plants that were almost 4 feet tall.the roses were a shade of black-red.big thorns stuck out from all the branches.
i stand there.wide-eyed staring at them,speechless.

'its not over.' no...

i sit down on the cold hard floor.planning to just lie down and die.
then sudddenly, a strong wind blows in.i'm freezing cold.where is this coming from?? i cant open my eyes.it didnt take me long to figure out,its a hurricane.

i have nowhere to go.it was either the wind, or the thorns.
i try to hide in a narrow pathway in the branches.

thorns scratch my whole body.my clothes are torn by them.blood is streaming through my wounds.i noticed the path gets wider as it goes on.even so,the narrow part is very long.i know i would be hurt badly if i go on.

but there is no option now.i pull myself through the branches.pushing away as much as i can with my hands.i yell in pain as the thorns poke into my arms. 'keep going.you're almost there.keep going...'

the path starts getting wider.then,less and less thorns could reach me.finally,i'm walking in the middle of the rose jungle.my wounds hurt like crazy.i tear off a part of my sleave and soak it in a puddle of water.i use it to wipe my wounds and bandage my right arm.

the sun is still nowhere to be seen.i just keep walking.glancing around once in a while to see if any horrible creature comes jumping at me.

after some hours,i see the end.the end of the jungle.my energy is failing me and i feel like i'm going to die of exhaution......

but its not over.i'm in more darkness.its just a dark and empty space.i have no place to run.no way to go.i would just be walking on and on into nothingness if i continued.

not knowing what to do anymore,i fall to the ground.i sob and sob endlessly.but right then,i remembered.

pray.try to pray.

'God..help me.please..'

~

i wake up to see myself in a field.green trees and flowers surrounding me.
i feel...safe again.i'm safe again.

YOUTH GATHERING

hey....

okay.i saw joyce and lyd both posted about the youth gathering that's coming up in our church (GTS)..so i thought 'why not? the more the merrier right?' haha..

we're gonna have BBQ & Games.....

here are the details..

Date : 26 June 2009

Venue : Glad Tidings Sunway <9, Jln PJS 11/8 Bandar Sunway 46150 Subang Jaya> (right beside sunway pyramid actually xD)

Time : 7.00 - 10.30pm

Fee : RM10

Closing Date : 19 June '09

its mainly just barbeque, games and chatting.if you're interested, tell me before the closing date k! ^^ ciao~

read it and weep

today, i am walking into the future and letting go of the past.

enough hurting myself.enough crying.enough thinking everything will be fine if i just cared abit more.enough.
i've had enough.of everything.

it's time to put a fake smile on my face and get on with life.get on with everything i'm supposed to do.everything i'm required to.stop caring if others approve or disapprove.stop trying to fit in when i obviously don't.
stop.just stop.
i just want everything to stop.

time to stop.stop thinking.stop pretending.pretending i dont care when i see the gang of friends, knowing i will never be a real part of it.pretending i'm perfecty fine with people just leaving me alone.pretending i don't feel left out of the loop.

stop.please.stop.

*drum roll* DAVID our camp game master!!

hah!! finally found the pic!!! this is DAVID.in the pic, he was like 'aaaahhh!! quick!! so cold so cold!!!' after they 'finished' he was jumping everywhere cuz of the cold. xD

'dont take me!' *shy*

Church camp 2009!!

Whew.just came back from camp on sunday...

Ps Jason Goh was awesome.his preaching really touched many people..

first day, went up Frasers Hill in the church van with joyce and all the PA things and instruments.lols..reached there about 12 something.checked in and carried our luggage to the apartment me, joyce, lydia, her sis, ps soocheng and yu lian shared..haha.it was the last block of the row on the highest floor (4th)! we were panting like crazy by the time we got up there! lols...

after lunch, we had like, 4 hours of free time before dinner cuz no games.just lepak-ed and watch the worship practice for the night session.lol..the boys spent most of their time playing futsal as expected..dinner was ok...not exactly my taste, but not bad.

the 1st session was good.actually all the sessions were great.mucho excelente! xD

at night, me n joyce talked for hours in the room before sleeping.haha..lotsa things to talk about mar...hahaha..the stupid mosquitos kept me awake so long that night!! also cuz i dunno why super scared.slept at 3am.then wake up at 3.45am thinking i got thru the whole night.so angry when i looked at the phone and see big big numbers 03:45 there! argh!

summor keep hearing footsteps at the balcony outside...so super scared..so go and sms rueben.haha..who knew,he also nvr sleep yet.lols...finally at 430am, i fell asleep.that guy ar....630am only sleep.. =.= amazing how a person can sleep so 'late'.lols...

the next day woke up, go for morning devotion, then breakfast.also okok.just eat vry little though.lol..later 2nd session, like i said.awesome.

and then once again, after lunch super alot of free time cuz again the games coordinator (david) still hasnt arrived..again watch the worship practice.then crys and lyd go hiking..while me n joyce n laiyee just lepak around and hang out at the dining area with tim.suddenly, hiking people come back dy! johnston came and sit with us but crys and lyd dunno go where liao.

then tim got bored or hungry or something cuz he took johnston, me, joyce and laiyee downhill to buy some AWESOME goreng pisang and fried sweet potato and lekor.we went and eat the food at the tennis court while watching the guys playing futsal.yes, again.the lekor with the sauce was ssoooo AWESOME!!! and the goreng pisang!!! haha.the sweet potato not as good cuz vry hard.tim say like eating cardboard. xD but still good la.hahahaa...

later went back to wash up, have dinner, 3rd session, worship practice again (this time i was IN the worship practice.haha).

then had an 'illegal youth gathering'. xD jhon and tim told all their funny stories about their missions trip and past camps..so so so super funny lar they all....apparently, they have many stories about rueben.hahaha...sooo miss it........

nighttime, talk with joyce in the room again and sleeeep......

what i'm really trying to get to here is the 3rd day.so bear with me awhile ok..lols.

that night was much better cuz we kept the balcony light on and i wasnt so scared.also, i covered my blanket to the very top and used my jacket to cover my ears.haha..

ok.now finally, THE 3RD DAY.

woke up with a headache and super emo.ate the least i've ever eaten for breakfast.then went for 4th session where i did the projecting for the worship time.once again, Ps Jason's preaching was magnificent.

we had our photo session right after that.everyone was wearing the camp t-shirt (which is lime green).but i, on the other hand, was wearing a white blouse cuz i didnt get the camp shirt cuz i registered late.we sang a birthday song for unc.Gu cuz, obviously, it was his birthday.we had deeelicious chocolate cake for lunch dessert.yummmm......

aft lunch and not so long free time, we finally had games!! we split into our groups.the game goes like, we have 2 mins to get to a station, then 8 mins to play the game.after the 8 mins/we play the game, the station master will give us a riddle.then we take another 2 mins to get to the next station, 8 mins to play the game, get the riddle, and...

the first game was, we split into smaller groups, hold hands,and put the hulla hoop through our hands as many rounds as possible til the 8 mins are up.

the second game, we have 18 peices of chewing gum.we have to chew it awhile, then (using gloves) make a tower as high as possible.ewww...haha.

in the third game, we had to pick up marbles in water using chopsticks then go back still holding it in the chopsticks.the kids have advantage.they can pick up, then hold it back with their hands.but becuz of miscommunication or something, everyone thought that the kids could just grab it out of the water using their hands.haha...

fourth game, there is a box filled with flour + water.its like some kind of batter.there are alot of marshmallows inside also.we have to one by one, go and pick up the marshmallows with our mouth.the batter was super bitter! disgusting ler... ><

fifth, we have to write what we see using strings attached to a marker without touching the marker.

last one, hard to explain.there are a few pails.one person will do sit ups in front of the pail while scopping up the water with a cup.then pass to another person who will pour the water into a water bottle.then keep going like that.

aft the games were over and results were given, everyone went out and the guys start throwing the leftover flour (from fourth game) all over david the game master.hahahahaha....he was so white he had to wash himself n his clothes out there.he was so cold!! XD

after showering was the dinner.ohhh the dinner.it was stemboat.super super AWWWWWESOOOMME!!!! i ate sooo much.....even more then tim (or so he says)! haha...everyone (especially jhon and jienyue) couldnt stop commenting about my eating.hahaha.....but seriously lar.it was fantastic.very fulfilling.cant say filling, but FULfilling.wahahaha...... XD

aft another superb session, us youth had a last-night-of-camp party.haha..ps chris said we could stay out til 1am.but ps soocheng said we (me n roomies) could stay til 3am.haha...joyce, david and me missed quite abit of it cuz we were watching vids of david's funny indian friend on his phone.haha.....by the time we went over to the others, it was almost 1am alrd..we chatted, ate junk food and had loads of F-U-N. ^^ but abt 1.10am, ps chris called to see where his roomies (reuben and qi ren) were.so they had to go back.but us others crept over to tim's apartment and continued our eating, drinking and being merry. xD we laughed our heads off that night.

by 3am, the older guys took us back to our apartments.i fell asleep in bed while listening to joyce talk to me.haha.sorry o joyce..i was really tired.heh.

the next day i woke up like a zombie.went through the breakfast and sessions quite awake.lols.. by 230pm, we went back in the van with some other NCA ppl......

byebye camp~~~ T.T

here are some pics...

david covered in flour xD



emo me =x

joyce trying not to laugh.haha..

guess who are these?? tell me if u can guess.haha....

WHAT MASK DO YOU WEAR quiz

Your Result: Pain

Your mask is pain. For some reason or another you just can't seem to find a positive outlook on life. You get angry when people try to relate with how you feel, because you're convinced they won't understand. Deep down you know there should be a million reasons for people to want to get to know you, but you often find yourself closing yourself off from those around you. You have your select friends, but can't help but want something more. You find opening up difficult, but you do find your ways to let things out. You have your good days, but even through the good times, you feel like there is always going to be those feelings that don't sit right.

i cant help reading this again and again and again...its like this 'thing' got me spot on,BULLSEYE u know!!! and its just...ugh!!!!! i'm just so angry at it!!!!
how can this THING be so right... .><.
haih.i dont know whats wrong with myself.its crazy.sigh. ..><..

lalala~

SAGITTARIUS (The Promiscuous One)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly,fun and sweet (not always). Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with, you might end up crying.

got from email de...haha..not all true though.only the purple ones are true. xD

ok..soo..today went with crystal and joyce to sunway pyramid at like,1130.went to buy tickets first.see the whole place not alot of people, suddenly go cinema the line got so many people. =.= buy ady,go eat at A&W.i only ate 1 curly fries and nestea PEACH. (crys ask me add de.hahaha.) lols...aft that super hungry..

1230,went in to watch the movie ANGELS AND DEMONS.good thing got large popcorn and coke (share la) or else might starve liao! hahas.movie quite interesting..but the whole time i was freezing like crazy.thought gonna faint.lol.did u know i fainted once before cuz too cold in the cinema? >< lols.....

anyways, later went play in the games place.dunno wat place its called.the 1 that's super noisy n u have to buy tokens to play de.u know? hahas.fun! x]

aft that, jus walk around a while then see a guy ice skating..sooooo admire him la xD his skating i mean..waaaaaahhh.... O.O the skating ring only him 1 person.so many people watching him..pei fu pei fu *bows* haha....

watch till finish liao, just walk around everywhere til like 5 something.then went home ler.

k la.gtg gtg.crys waiting for me to finish writing.haha..bye~~

what mask do you wear? quiz

Your Result: Pain

Your mask is pain. For some reason or another you just can't seem to find a positive outlook on life. You get angry when people try to relate with how you feel, because you're convinced they won't understand. Deep down you know there should be a million reasons for people to want to get to know you, but you often find yourself closing yourself off from those around you. You have your select friends, but can't help but want something more. You find opening up difficult, but you do find your ways to let things out. You have your good days, but even through the good times, you feel like there is always going to be those feelings that don't sit right.

all too true.wish it wasnt.but i cant change reality

the truth about me.

I'm good at not caring.Pretending to not care at least.It's easy to put on my earphones and get lost in the song, pretending i'm not caring about everything that's happening around me.But you can never fully ignore the things that are going on around you.

Sometimes, i can control my mind until i really don't care.About anything and everything.But well, i'm not heartless.Controlling your heart isn't as easy as controlling your mind.How you feel is 10 times harder to change than how you think.

I wish i was heartless.Then i wouldn't get hurt by people.I wouldn't hate.I know that means i wouln't love either.But i don't want to hate.Even if it means i cant love too.