getting worse..omg..

haih.ytd was headache sorethroat and low fever.today headache, sorethroat,cough, flu and high fever.sigh....wats happening to me.... >< scared...

feel like gonna die..

headache...omg.feel like whole head gonna burst..aaaaaah... *holding head with both hands*
cant speak...got very bad sorethroat also...pain until even the teeth pain leh..ooowwww...........cant even eat n swallow properly without feeling like i'm swallowing a rock..
fever too..
sob............ .><.

when i...

look at my house, i think of my family.

see best friends, i think of anna.
-cuz we are! ^^

see a smile, i think of crystal.
-cuz she's always smiling =]

see a teddy bear, i think of joyce.
-cuz she's just like one.haha.

see penguins, i think of laiyee.
-cuz she loves them..

see a tanning salon, i think of lydia.
-cuz she's soo tanned....

see a cat, i think of kat vee.
-cuz of her name lor! lols..

see tall and thin, i think of debbie.
-cuz she's tall n thin la..

see my tambourine, i think of jessie.
-cuz she teach de ma..heh

see a pic of Beethoven, i think of xin wei.
-cuz she's good at playing the piano...oo..lol..

see my water bottle, i think of Johnny.
-cuz he give me wan lo..haha

see twins, i think of rueben looi.
-cuz..hard to explain....just cuz la.haha..

see a monkey, i think of Johnston.
-everyone knows why..ahaha.

see guitars, i think of reuben pak.
-cuz he's my guitar teacher la.lol

see my guitar, i think of my cous bro.
-cuz he give me wan..heehee

see a pro guitarist, i think of kevin.
-cuz he's pro guitarist lar..haha.

hear 'apologize' by one republic, i think of eugene.
-cuz he sent the song to me last time.hehe

see drums, i think of david, jonathan and jien yue.
-cuz they play in the church.haha.

see basketball, i think of jay1.
-cuz i remember he says he plays with his friends.lols..

see a group of teens hanging out, i think of my church youth.
-cuz we're a group of teens! go gts!! ^^

see/hear my christian cd songs, i think of stan.
-cuz he gave me the cd.. ^^

see someone emo, i think of my 'old' self.

see stars in the sky, i think of how beautiful the world can be... =]

真的好想, 好想~ ><

好想回去以前的我.

好想把心里的伤都消除掉.

好想你别对我那么冷漠.

好想再活过新的生活.

好想我们的友情继续到永远.

好想看到你的微笑.

好想把你的信都delete掉.

好想忘了之前的事.


好想...

再重新开始.

thank you

thanks....
for helping me get over you.

ya.
you made me get over you!

you know what you did...!

or maybe you dont.

either way,you're the one who made it dawn on me what a jerk you are.
sorry..but i cant lie.

anyway, THANK YOU.SO MUCH.

p.s. u probly dont even know i'm talking about you! xD @.@ lol.

*bzzzbzzz* *bzzzbzzz*
Caller ID : Aaron
*bzzzbzzz*

me :
hey! watsup?
...hello??
...HELLO!!

him :
she broke my heart.i'll never smile again..

me :
what are you talking about?

him :
remember the girl i always talk about? the super cute,super cool,girl good friend of mine?

me :
oh...

him :
ya.that one...

me :
why are you talking to me about me? xD

him :
swt! i am not talking about you!!

me :
then who is it???

him :
cindy.remember??

me :
oh...the girl you've had a crush on since i dont know when..

him :
i do not have a crush on her!!!
...
sorry.its like an auto reaction when someone says i have a crush on someone.
ya.i have a crush on her.

...

me :
well?? what about her???!!!!

him :
...
you know what? forget it.i'm hanging up now.

me :
no no no dont!! i just dont get what you're saying!

him :
fine..
she has a boyfriend.

me :
uhh..........so?

him :
you arent listening!! i like her! she has a boyfriend! i'm heartbroken!! do i have to spell it out for you???!!

me :
well i'm sure it would've been easier if you did in the first place..

him :
ok thats it.you are obviously not interested.
i'll go talk to someone who at least pretends to care!!

me :
no i'm sorry i'm sorry! dont hang up!! pleeeeaase....
i'll be so attentive you wouldnt even know its me!!

him :
sigh..fine..
...
well?? whats your opinion?

me :
about what?

him :
argh!!!!! i can burst an artery talking to you!!!!! goodbye!

me :
dont go!! please please please...i'm sorry.....i'll listen! i promise!

him :
long sigh...ok.last chance.
cindy has a boyfriend.i'm heartbroken..i need comforting.

me :
well,think about it this way.
she's way too short for you.when u wanna hug or kiss her,you'll have to bend down so low your back will ache! xD

him :
haha.its not funny.be serious!!

me :
okok, you killjoy.there are plenty of girls in this world.

him :
plenty of girls??!

me :
yea.i'm sure she's not that good....

him :
not THAT GOOD???!!

me :
yeah! there're lots of better girls out there!

him :
BETTER GIRLS?????!!!!!

me :
YES!! can you stop replying with a question??! its annoying!

him :
annoying????!

me :
its my turn to hang up now.

him :
sorry sorry..i got abit overexcited...
but really.better than her???
sweet,kind,pretty,smart, AND has a SENSE OF HUMOR!
BETTER THAN THAT???!

me :
okay okay..dont get worked up.
how bout we talk this over ice cream? my treat.

him :
nah.i'm so not in the mood for it.

me :
a cup of..something?

him :
i think i prefer talking just as i am now.

me :
well,thats fine with me.
you dont have to change if you dont want to.
unless you're in your underwear.then you have to put some clothes on first.
and if your breath stinks,you have to brush your teeth and take some breathmints first.

him :
i dont mean my clothes or my oral hygiene!!! i mean i prefer talking through the phone!!

me :
oh.ok then.you leave me no choice.
I DARE YOU TO GO FOR ICE CREAM OR SOMETHING WITH ME.

him :
well..........ok.if its your treat.

me :
nope.now its your treat.

him:
but you just said...

me :
that was before i had to dare you to do it! =P

him :
...fine. >(


*TO BE CONTINUED* XD

right for me, bullseye.

I was made the wrong way..
Won't you do me the right way?
Where you gonna be tonight?
'cause i won't stay too long..

Maybe you're the light for me.
When you talk to me it strikes me.
Won't somebody help me?
'cause i don't feel too strong..

Was it something that i said?
Was it something that i did?
Or the combination of both that did me end?

You know i'm hoping you sing along,
Though it's not your favorite song..
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say...

You know that some of us spin again..
When you do, you need a friend.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me..
And i hate the thought of finally being erased..
Baby that's the best of me.

Everything's behind you.
But the hope still stands beside you.
Living in every moment..
Have i wasted all your time?

Was it something that i said?
Was it something that i did?
Or the combination of both that did me end?

You know i'm hoping you sing along,
Though it's not your favorite song..
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say...

You know that some of us spin again..
When you do, you need a friend.
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me...
And i hate the thought of finally being erased..
Baby that's the best of me.

You know i'm hoping you sing along..
Though it's not your favorite song...
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say..

You know that some of us spin again.
When you do, you need a friend..
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me..
And i hate the thought of finally being erased...
Baby that's the best of me.

NO MORE.I'M FREE.

no.not for him.not anymore.for myself.

CANT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!! I AM SOOOO OVER YOU!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT!!!!WOOOOOOOOOOOOOT~~~~!!!!! XDD YEAH!!!!!!!

it hurts.it really does,so much.but i'm gonna let go..for you.

people say, 'If you love someone, you'd be willing to let him/her go..no matter how much it hurts you...as long as it makes him/her happy..'

so..i'm gonna do it.for you.

yeow.........

so pain my feet......just came back frm worship practice..couldnt remember the dance steps..do til so kelam kabut.... >< haihs.hope we do better tmr...

*my feet hurt like crazy..even more than words can say...my feet hurt like crazy..since 530 today...* xD

i wont give up!! no i wont!!!!!!

i'm gonna reach for the sky and never look down!!

but have to add alot of oil first!
*glug glug glug*



YEAH! NOW I'M READY!!!!!
GO!!!!!
加油！！！
wooooooooot.....!!

我不会再为你掉眼泪...

its too hard.....

why is it when i try to look at the bright side, i cant find it....? .><.

why is it i feel especially emo when i'm with happy people?

why is it the dark side of things always seem bigger than the bright side?

why is it just seeing someone sad can ruin my whole day??

why is it that it hurts so much when i look at you?

why is it that i let you break me apart like that??


what am i doing here...

my new leaf. ♥

you know how EVERYONE says i'm ALWAYS EMO...?

well....i'm getting tired of it.

NO MAS!!! (you'll know what it means if you watched beverly hills chihuahua xD)

yeah! from now on,i'm gonna be super cool, super happie gurl! wooooot.........!!!!! ahahaha....

wanna know where this sudden decision came out from?

weell...
these days i've noticed how my emo-ness really influenced some of my friends and made them emo too.. >< i'm so sorry guys........
tried to cheer them up,but they were just becoming more and more like me.always seeing the negative side of everything and getting sad over little little stuffs..yea,thats me.
CORRECTION : that WAS me.

so, i cant stand it no more.that's why i've decided to be a happier person.a more positive person.

its gonna be hard, i'm sure..i'm so used to the emo face i've been wearing,its gonna be real difficult to change...but i know i can do it.
even though i'm facing somethings that are really really very saddening right now.....i just know i can.

Jia you, isabel ><

The Easter Story : He Is Alive!

went to watch the play The Easter Story:He Is Alive! yesterday night in Putra Stadium..was so touching.. .><. the actors can sing soo well!!
got pulled to the front by my friend when altar call...lols..

anyways,all in all it was very good. =] whoever's looking at this post who hasnt seen it, YOU SHOULD GO!!

Putra Stadium,Bukit Jalil.nightly Friday,Saturday,Sunday.8pm.FREE ADMITTION! ^^

hehe.

cut short hair liao lu.................heh..

going to see the play 'The Easter Story : He Is Alive' tonight at Putra Stadium,Bukit Jalil! with mah 2 good friends! haha..gonna be sooo fun! i hope.. X] lol..

真的要放弃了吗.....?

好伤心...好想哭...但是哭有什么用? 哭了会解决我的问题吗?
答案是,不会.

不管我做什么,我的心上的伤口...是不会走的.

我的心,永远都会有这个疤痕..它永远都不会再恢复原来的完美.

永远都已经是一个被伤了的心.


现在超想哭.... ><

seeing stars...

everytime i see the stars in my blog layout (right), i remember the stars i used to see in my home in penang..sighs...miss it so much even though it's been like 4+ yrs since i moved to kl...

its funny..in penang, i used to always call my house 'my home' and go home and say 'ahh....back at my home sweet home.'
but nowadays,its just 'yeah.that's my house.' or 'i'm back.'
sighs..home just dont feel like home no more..

miss the stars that used to shine so brightly for me.....

mom's bday~

HAPPIE BIRTHDAY MUMMY~~!!!

HAVE A TOTALLY AWESOME YEAR AHEAD!

AND REMEMBER...I LOVE YOU! *MUAX*

dreams..

let me ask you..
have you heard this quote before?

"a mans dreams are an index to his greatness" -Zadok Rabinwitz

when we're children,we were always encouraged to have big dreams for the future.to become whatever we want to be..
but somewhere along the road,many lose this ability to dream..

WHY? is it because we realize what life is like in the real world?
i dont think so.

i think it's because we're settling for second best.
we are either to scared of what others will think if we do what we love...or we arent willing to stand up to the criticism and see things through..

i doesnt have to be like that.you can achieve great things..if you let yourself.

for sure you'll hav to start small...but dont stop there.set a BIG goal.and never lose sight of it..

WHATEVER YOU DO,DONT PUT LIMITS ON YOUR SUCCESS.NEVER GIVE UP.
WHATEVER THE CASE,DONT SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST IN YOUR LIFE.

hey...if you shoot for the stars and all fails,at least you'll still land on the moon...

dream BIG

When I was a little girl

I swore

that I would change the world when I grew up.

Nothing else would be enough

Back then it all seemed black and white

But these days I just cant seem to find the child in me

Who always believed

I see it everyday

We settled for safe

And lose ourselves along the way

But if u dont dream big whats the use in dreaming.

If u dont have faith theres nothing worth believing.

It takes one hope to make the stars worth reaching for.

So reach out, for something more

Took a well perfected plan

For me to finally understand

But its not me

Faith is something I can't see

I lose the reigns and let them go

I broke the chains of fear

That had their hold on me too long

When all I felt was wrong

Ive wiped my tears away

now its time for a change

No I cant waste another day

Coz if u dont dream big whats the use in dreaming.

If u dont have faith theres nothing worth believing.

It takes one hope to make the stars worth reaching for.

So close your eyes and tell me what you see

between what's real and make believe

here's the path we've all been searching for

So reach out, for something more

than you ever could imagine then move

don't wait for it to happen

life's too short for not taking chances

the stars are far as they seem

But if u dont dream big whats the use in dreaming.

If u dont have faith theres nothing worth believing.

It takes one hope to make the stars worth reaching for.

So reach out, for something more...

is second best all i ever will be?

i dont wanna run away from the truth..but what else can i do...?

sob..guys are so mean....

people hate me... *cry*


...


*sniff* mm.mom's homecooked chicken soup.. *sniffles.wipes eyes*

*go downstairs*

*slurp*

mmm...delicious.

do you even know i'm talking about you...didnt think so.

you make me so happy sometimes..
so why do i want you out of my life?

oh, yeah.

cuz you make me sad most of the time...

~~~~~~

sighs..these days dunno why keep crying 'for no reason'.. >< crazy me...so sad...

sob..

life's sad when you're around..its sadder when you're not.

ytd went to church at 4pm to help jon shoot video for church camp promotion..there were 7 of us all together.4 guys 3 girls.

its so wierd.when i was there, i felt really 'out of the loop'..i dunno, its just like, i couldnt connect with them you know..even when they stood in a circle,i always seemed to be the one sort of,out of it.so sad...so i kept going out of the room.. x'[ (gonna cry ady..swt..)
usually,i like being alone..but this time, it was so...hurting.i talked only a few times. (actually,i dun remember talking to any1 except lyd.)

you might've guessed, i was emo the whole the time.but to be honest,there were other contributing factors to my emo-ness..

at abt 630,we went to bidara to eat dinner.didnt feel like eating at all..even though i was super hungry....but aft some persuation,i ate.mainly cuz i was scared i'd get gastric or something..
while we were eating, it started pouring..pssc came and picked us girls up.but the boys ran back in the rain..lol.

dunno why after dinner,i cheered up abit.maybe cuz i was abit more..noticed? =/
anyways,yeah.i cheered up abit.

aft the boys showered,we sang songs til prayer time.that really cheered me up.

by cell time,i was quite ok.had some emo moments,but still ok.cuz there was this smiley face there that time.haha.thx lai yee... =]

aft cell,we practiced the chinese song for parents day.that time i was abit hyper,cuz the song soo nice.lol.then,went home..

at night,had such a horrible nightmare..woke up crying.. >< sighs..

k la.gtg.bye....